The Change Is Inevitable
We all say we want change. But most of us aren’t honest about the kind of change we’ve come to expect.
We think we’re evolving when we’re just refining our coping. We think we’re healing when we’re just avoiding more elegantly.
And then we wonder why everything still feels… off.
Here’s the quiet truth:
Most of us are walking around with a “why” that doesn’t actually benefit us.
It sounds noble.
It looks good.
It makes sense on a vision board.
But in your body? In your nervous system? It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feed you. It drains you.
We’ve been handed the script of acceptable “whys”:
Do it for your family.
Do it for generational wealth.
Do it to make a difference.
Beautiful reasons. But often borrowed. Inherited. Assumed. Unquestioned.
What about your difference…for you?
And I’m not talking about the trendy “selfish girl” gospel that glorifies doing what you want just because you want it.
This isn’t about rebellion.
It’s about reconnection.
What in your why actually brings you back to life? What in it tastes like peace, like power, like presence?
Not just purpose. Not just provision. Not just productivity.
Happiness. Joy. Ease. Freedom.
When did those become dirty words?
The Cost of Clarity
I’ll be honest. I’m writing this from a place I saw coming.
You know that feeling—when something’s quietly unraveling in the background, and you’ve outgrown the story but you’re not ready to be the voice?
Yeah. That place.
And I wasn’t ready to face it. Not fully.
Because truth is expensive now.
Because sharing common sense comes at a cost.
Because nuance is now niche, and controversy doesn’t even require conflict anymore, just clarity.
I’ve watched brilliant, soul-led women get torn apart by the very circles they once covered and carried.
Not because they lied. But because they told the truth too soon.
Social media has flipped everything upside down.
Lies are treated like evidence.
Truth is treated like attack.
Opinions parade as facts, and facts are framed as oppression.
But, here we are. At a crossroads. Of hurt. Of hypocrisy. Of half-truths dressed up as healing.
And I’m ready to unpack uncomfortable truths
Hurt Is Being Marketed as Healing
Let me say it clearly:
People are healing just enough to stay hurt.
You’re “healing” from broken relationships—but now you’re avoiding intimacy.
You’re “healing” from family trauma—but now you’re afraid to create one of your own.
You’re “setting boundaries”—but really, you’ve built walls and called it discernment.
And I get it.
Because it’s easier to say you’re healing than to say you’re scared.
But if healing doesn’t move you toward what you desire, then what is it really?
If it doesn’t restore your ability to trust, to try again, to build again…
Then maybe you’re not healing. Maybe you’re hiding.
From Trial to Provision
Maybe it’s just how I’m wired. I observe more than I speak. I watch what people do—not just what they say.
And yesterday, I told a friend something that’s still sitting in my spirit:
“Your test and your trial will either be your provision or your poverty.”
You didn’t go through hell just to camp there. You didn’t survive just to keep surviving.
You went through hell to learn how to create heaven. But you can’t do that if you’re still dragging the smoke with you.
What Are You Actually Avoiding?
So many women—especially women who look like me—are stuck in a loop.
Avoiding joy. Avoiding ease. Avoiding the very things they want, because they first experienced them on the painful side.
It’s like saying, “I got burned by fire, so I’ll never cook again.”
But baby… you still gotta eat.
You still want love. You still want peace. You still want leadership, support, sovereignty, rest.
So why are you organizing your whole life around never being hurt again?
That’s not healing. That’s hypervigilance.
And no amount of nervous system language can rebrand that into power.
The Beautiful Cage
Don’t let the la-la palace of self-protection keep you from what you actually want.
It sounds smart. It sounds safe. But it’s a cage.
A beautiful, well-decorated, spiritually-approved cage. And it will steal your life while convincing you you’re being wise.
So… What Do You Want?
The change is inevitable. Life will shift. You will evolve.
But you get to decide: Will that change nourish you—or just numb you?
Not every pivot is powerful. Not every version of growth is good for you.
Because if your “new life” still avoids your real desires… If your “healed self” still can’t be grounded, loved, held, or seen…
Then you haven’t changed. You’ve just rebranded your hiding.
So let me ask you plainly:
What do you actually want?
Not what’s safe. Not what performs well on Instagram. Not what keeps you respectable in rooms you’ve outgrown.
But you—the real you.
Because that’s where your why lives. And once you reclaim it… the game changes.
Let the change benefit you this time. Let it bless you. Let it bring you back to life.
You didn’t go through hell to rehearse it.
You went through it to rewrite it.
So do it.